There are a lot of popular rock and/or roll bands on the planet. Do you know about the most popular ones? We sure don’t! Welcome to Who the Fuck?, a series where the CREEM staff takes a stab at trying to figure out what’s up in the world of arena alternative music. Our first victims: Glass Animals.

The CREEM team asked if I would like to author the first installment of Who the Fuck? I said, “Sure, I’ll go first. But what the fuck is Who the Fuck? This is the first I’ve heard of this column.”

“Your task is to figure out what an amazingly popular ‘rock’ band is all about, and perhaps make some value judgments based on their singles/videos/interviews with the most limited amount of research possible,” Maria Sherman, our senior editor, replied. “Who loves this stuff? Let’s guess.”

Ah. I get it. Good question. Yeah, I can identify those who listen to country music because they dress like they listen to country music (“subtlety” is a concept foreign to country music—probably because “foreign” is a concept foreign to country music), but yeah, you can’t exactly pick out an Ed Sheeran fan in a lineup, yet there are millions of them all around us. The number of fans these artists at the top have is staggering. They have so many fans that I can’t help wondering, “Am I a fan? I mean, I must be, because mathematically there’s no other way to account for all the people who buy the music and go to the concerts.” (Mathematically?) Who listens to this shit indeed?

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