FORTUNES TOLD AND ANSWERS QUESTIONED
Please answer the following questions:
1. My brother insists that the main difference between Circus writers and CREEM writers is that Circus use the phrase “avant garde” when they can’t categorize something. Is this true?
2. Is Emerson, Lake & Palmer dead?
3. Does John Denver have glaucoma?
4. Does Billy Altman write the Christgau Consumer Guide?
5. Does Gene Simmons have a false tongue?
6. What really causes the “Greasies’?
7. Is Johnny Rotten really all that rotten?
8. Am I probably going to lose your readers interest at about this time? (If so, the next one will grab ‘em.)
9. Amongst the staff of CREEM, who has the sexiest legs?
(1. Absolutely. We believe that writers should avoid using words they cannot smell. 2. Don’t you wish? 3. Ditto. 4. No, he just corrects the spelling errors. 5. Nah, but his shoes wear dentures. 6. Too many Big Macs 7. Yes. 8. More than likely. )That’s at best a rebuttable presumption. 9. Charley Auringer-Ed.)