Being of as great importance as I stand and not wishing to jeopardize my office, I would like to go on record as saying (you may quote):
1. Grand Funk is the best mutha-fuckin’ group around with one bad-ass guitarist. 2. Alice Cooper smells, eats and sounds like shit.
3. MC5 are fags.
4. Michael P. Jagger can’t sing worth fuck.
5. Carole King makes me wanta whip off.
6. Brian Wilson can’t even read music.
7. The Who are great.
8. Steppenwolf is better than the Who!
9. Pete Townshend plays some fantastic lead.
10. Glen Buxton don’t know what a guitar looks like.
11. CREEM is a bullshittin’ rag.
Thankx a lot,
I really appreciate it.
General B. Napoleon
Dwight Frye Memorial Hospital Ward #9, Room 14.