MAIL

May 1985

Dear CREEM: 
What is happening to you people? You used to have the greatest letter department in all of magazine history! They used to be so strange and funny. They were great. Now you print NORMAL letters like all the rest! Whatever happened to “I eat Oreos and spit in your face!” Or who could forget “Trashcans rule, especially with cheese.!” And the editor! Where’s our rude editor? In the February issue he was nice! 
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September 1984

Dear CREEM:  I would like to thank everyone for voting me Sex Object of the Year. Linda thanks you, too. My children thank you, as well. What? You mean I didn’t win? Who the hell is Joe Elliot? Deaf what? I just don’t understand it. I used to be so adorable. I … I …  Read more

May 1983

Dear CREEM: 
When Ozzy Osbourne bit off the dove’s head, he was just doing something different! Other people didn’t, so therefore, some people call him demented. What’s wrong with doing something different? 
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September 1982 - Lester

Dear CREEM: 
A California contact recently sent me a newspaper obit. The notice read, “Lester Bangs — died in his Manhattan apartment — He was 33.” A very sad piece of news. Lester had few equals as a rock critic. At his best he was unpretentious, acerbic, incisive. His passion was rock ‘n’ roll. He truly CARED. 
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March 1982

Dear CREEM: 
So, Mick Jagger thinks the record buyers in America are “unsophisticated.” Ha! And I suppose a 40-year-old anorexia nervosa victim in football tights is “sophisticated.”
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November 1981

Dear CREEM: 
I can’t believe how STUPID you dummies are. You make the guys in Journey look like a bunch of fools from San Francisco! I mean, who cares if Steve Perry has a lady behind him in the bathroom! Who cares if some sumo wrestler pisses in the corner! Who cares about Don Adams’ granddaughter! Who cares about Billy Squier! It was supposed to be a Journey interview, man. And that what’s-his-face who did the interview can do me a big favor. GO TO HELL! 
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June 1981

I want to write for your magazine. I hate David Lee Roth. Do I qualify?  Read more

January 1980

Dear CREEM: 
I feel like a real idiot. I mean, the Clash is one of my all-time favorite groups, and I don’t even know what most of their songs are about. I am constantly reading articles and record reviews telling me that “The Clash is the greatest record in the history of rock and roll because they have described our times with more clarity than Rod Stewart’s underwear, and blah blah blah … ” 
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